Me foiling a bag-snatcher by psychically tripping them up from across the road, because crime generally doesn’t tend to happen in obvious places and it’s hard to patrol a city the size of London when you’re: a) just one person, and b) unable to fly around with impunity because of all the CCTV cameras. In actual fact (record scratch), it was more like this: Also, at some point, a shot of me walking away from a massive explosion. ‘ I totes agree,’ says smitten young boy damsel.Īnd so on. ‘ He’s an absolute dream,’ says smitten young damsel, ‘ what a shame he already has a brilliant girlfriend whom he loves, and even if he didn’ t, he would never take advantage of someone he’d just rescued, what an absolute bona fide legendary hero type!’ Maybe interspersed with a few headlines, done in that old-school spinning front page style.
SO IF I’D had my way, this would be the ‘previously’ montage:Ī frenetic and stylishly edited sequence set to some propulsive piece of rock or techno or drum and bass, showing me flying between buildings, swooping into dark alleys, kicking down doors, psychically grabbing would-be muggers, murderers, loan sharks, internet spammers and multifarious other potential evildoers and hurling them into walls, saving distressed damsels (and whatever the bloke versions of damsels are), engaging in spectacular fights on rain-lashed rooftops, chucking a few cars about (maybe at a giant monster) and generally being utterly superheroic, black coat flapping behind me in the wind, always leaving the scene of the awesomeness without giving my name.